Are you an artist? For this date, the only correct answer is an emphatic YES.

Granted, you might not feel like an artist. Somewhere between that happy day in third grade when you made a turkey from colored yarn and your yarn-free years of adulthood, you may have stopped being a cheerful, paste-covered creator and become a cynical critic. Maybe you became a critic after a teacher told you that one dead Dutch guy’s paintings were prettier than another dead Dutch guy’s work. Maybe your art-class bowl collapsed after it went into the kiln and its destruction thrust you into perpetual self-criticism. And maybe, when you learned that painters, sculptors and illustrators weren’t the only people that made art, you decided to explore other, less judgmental media. Art eludes us when we become critical and forget how to make stuff for the sheer fun of it.

This date is all about art for the joy of creation. No critics are invited. To make sure that none sneak in, you and your sweetie will make art in the bathroom with the stock tools of a toddler’s trade: washable markers and bathroom chalk. Afterwards, the receiver will get a bath complete with a rubber duckie. One trip to the toy section of any department store should take care of all your material needs. The giver can decide to give the evening an utterly silly stamp by picking up a juvenile bubble bath like Mr. Bubble®, or go the more sophisticated route with a product like Kiss My Face®. The latter comes in a variety of sensual attitudes, the former in Original and Original with Aloe.

Since the giver will use the receiver’s body as a canvas, figuring out what to draw should not prove too challenging. However, some plastic stencils can work to spark creativity if yours needs a little kick-start when presented with a blank canvas and infinite possibilities.

The day before your date, make sure the bathroom is especially clean and tidy, even if that job isn’t on your domestic job list from the SWEAT Definition Project. This date will involve lots of looking in the mirror, so use newspapers to clean the mirrors instead of rags or paper towels. The newspaper ink creates a shine and the paper leaves no lint behind. Put a bow on the bathroom door and a sign claiming your reservation to protect your work from intruders.

Since the receiver will serve as canvas, he or she might drop by for a hair cut or pedicure/manicure before heading home the day of your date, but encourage them to avoid a massage or skin treatment; their skin will receive plenty of care as the night progresses. Both of you have permission to come home looking good and ready to act goofy.