Back dancing simply means moving suggestively with your backs pressed up against each other’s. You should feel slightly out of breath as you move into the final posture of your puja. Bring your attention to your partner’s breath and see if you can coordinate your breathing. Start by breathing at the same time, to the same depth, inhaling together, then exhaling together. Once you breathe in unison, smile. You are practicing tantra.

Then, whoever is physically larger should exhale faster. Exhale as your lover inhales. Imagine that your breath is literally going into your partner’s lungs as you follow the invisible particles. Inhale just a moment after your partner exhales.

To move into the Yab-Yum posture, continue this harmonic breathing as the smaller partner sits astride the larger partner. If you want to remove your clothing, now is a wonderful time to do so, but it’s not necessary. Even if it is possible for you to penetrate your partner, avoid doing so. Resume your alternate breathing, and as you exhale, move your head forward toward your partner’s chest. Almost touching your lover’s heart chakra with your lips, bow to this person’s spiritual beauty and openness before reclining back to receive the same adoration.

If your genitals touch, allow the sensation to spread throughout your body and see what other centers can merge. Can you move your foreheads (third-eye chakras) together? Continue this merger until you’re physically exhausted and then breathe through that weariness into bliss. After even a few minutes of Yab-Yum practice, couples have been known to collapse together. Others allow Yab-Yum to flow into genital touching or penetration, creating a state of prolonged excitement. If you start having familiar sexual feelings and want to return to the non-traditional experience, go back to thinking only about the quality of your breathing. Make the breathing your only conscious thought. Once you can continue no longer, fall into a gentle heap together. In the afterglow, you might just be able to detect the color and shape of your lover’s soul.