National Take Your Daughter to Work Day allows girls (and boys) to find out what their parents actually do when they aren’t at home. Most people want their children to understand and appreciate their work. One political consultant acquaintance took her daughter to work and, at the end of the day asked, “Would you like to do what Mommy does when you grow up?” The daughter enthusiastically said, “Yes!” When a co-worker followed up and asked if she knew what her mother did, the little girl answered, “Mommy talks to her friends on the phone all day.”

While children might not know exactly what series of tasks add up to practicing medicine or making sculpture, your partner should know what you do for a living. Real appreciation for each other’s work means more than the ability to recite a job title during cocktail parties. For your most intimate relationship to really be called a partnership, you should step into your partner’s shoes and work where they work. This date asks you and your partner to switch jobs for a day to give each of you a taste of what the other really does to earn a living. Since this is a date, not a laborsaving device, plan to show your partner a sketch, not a detailed plan, of your workplace and your tasks. Both of you have some idea of what the other does, but no single exposure can replicate what the work actually feels like. Think of this date as a taste, no more and no less, of work.

Many people only hear the complaints your partner has about her or his work. Why would anyone go in day after day when a boss treats her poorly, her customers are rude, and her co-workers are unsupportive? No one would tolerate such a situation. Despite the complaints you hear, your partner doesn’t have that experience constantly, either. What you miss out on are the unspoken positives associated with his or her job. This date will let you feel a few of those good vibes.

Vocations are often jealous lovers. Familiarizing yourself with the actual place where your loved one goes will make it feel less threatening. Then, when you and your partner talk about why they have to stay late, you can have a shared vocabulary for what he or she does, and know names and faces associated with the job.