On this date, you and the person you share a shelter with are going to play a little trick on your nesting impulse with a round of mock house hunting. Regardless of your current living situation, whether you call home a condo that you hate or live in the perfect little bungalow you spent fifteen years fixing, pick out the place you want to live in next. Ask your sweetie what side of town he or she would live on if they did it all over again. Figure out what size and style of house would perfectly complement your shared values. Not a hypothetical house, either; you and your partner need to check out some actual houses.

A week before the date, spend an hour with the Sunday paper circling possibilities and making notes. Use the paper or a real estate magazine rather than the internet so you can both interact with the real estate possibilities. Showing and telling each other what you like and don’t like is an easier, more equitable conversation if no one is “driving” the computer.

Add a hint—no more, no less—of realism to your search.

Refuse to feel guilty for investigating your desires and call the listing agents for the three houses you want to explore most. Open houses are great, since you aren’t imposing on anyone’s schedule, but don’t limit yourself. Remember, you selected these places for a reason, and chances are good that you will end up buying a house at some point. A real estate agent would gladly trade thirty minutes of his or her time for the opportunity to help you in the future.

Take mental ownership of the space once you’re inside the house. Remember to hold hands, see if you can sneak away for a kiss in the bedroom, size up the kitchen for your needs (if you’ve been on the Cooking School date, imagine whether you could apply the skills you learned at your cooking class in this space), and sketch out how your furniture would fit in the living room. Since you aren’t really in the market for a house, it’s doubly important to ask each other and the realtor questions about present and future needs. Your life needs will certainly change, and walking around the house should prompt questions about those changes—especially questions you can’t answer now.

Of course, you’ll want to peek outside to see what the neighbors are like. Figure out if the landscaping works for your needs. Talk about the traffic patterns and how to get to work, the grocery store, restaurants, and professional and spiritual centers. Would you have to compromise an important value, like bike commuting or strolling in a beloved park, if you purchased this new house? Your dream house probably feels safe, and the community likely cares about its streets and grounds. If this security seems artificial and stifling, mention it to you partner. Find out how it feels to the person you plan to live with. The answer might surprise you.